The funeral for Denny Bates will be held on Saturday, March 30 at our church building, 1251 W 900 N in Lehi, UT 84043. A viewing will be held from 9:30 am-11:30 am, then the funeral will begin at Noon. All are welcome. 
I need to express my gratitude for all of the support I have already received in just 2 days. Whether it’s visits, comments on my post, messages, offering help for the funeral or with my children, the financial contributions, the parties people want to throw in Denny’s honor, helping me with my home and cleaning and snacks for my kids and food….
You guys. I can keep it together most of the day. I’m being given strength from heaven, from Denny, and from the shock and adrenaline. But once I am alone with my girls is when it hits. I find myself constantly shaking my head because when I have a moment to think, I cannot believe this is real. I just keep thinking “No no no no no no.” That’s when it is so scary and it hurts the most. And I am doing everything I can to stay strong, but I do break. Then I sit down and read messages, think back on my day of the phone calls and visits and offers and sharing on social media and seeing people doing anything they can to help me. And I sob. I fall apart. I am so grateful. I am so scared. I am so so scared to do this alone. I know I have outside help, but it still is going to be me picking up the pieces and trying to figure out how to make this the new normal. And everything you are doing is exactly what I need. 
Please don’t be afraid to reach out because you are worried you’ll say something that hurts me. Any love and kindness and appreciation is what I need. I’m also been with Denny for 5.5 years, so it takes a lot of work to offend me ☺️. Thank you. So so much. I will never be able to repay what has been done for me. But what I will do is every single thing I can to make these girls have a good and stable life. I will do everything to provide for them and love them and raise them as close to the way Denny and I would have together, because we were a great team. I will surround my girls with those who loved and knew Denny, his family who carries many of his same positive traits, those who love me, and anyone who can have a positive influence on them. I will protect them from as much harm as a mother can, while teaching them to stand up for what is right in this world. I will share with my girls how generous people have been (friends and strangers)  and how many people just want to help in whatever capacity they can. I will teach them to be strong women who are good and honest. I will also continue to share my story as much as I can to prevent even one person from experiencing this pain and heart break. If you think my last post can help someone, please share it. Thank you so so much. I am so so so grateful.

One thought on “Gratitude

  1. I lost my step dad to suicide a year ago in April. I have 2 young children who were similar in age to your children when it happened. My now 4 year old still grieves for his “pappy”. He has some evenings when he just weeps and weeps for him. Some days he can talk about him happily with all of the fond memories they shared, he was his best friend and vice versa. Other times he can barely say his name without tears. Suicide is not the answer! It’s so sad to see more and more people taking their own lives. It’s ironic that the way you describe Denny, is often the way my step dad is described. My heart breaks for your family, suicide is evil. It is heart wrenching. Mental illness is real, and it needs normalized! Thank you for sharing. You’re openness helps people like me cope and know that it is okay to openly talk about it!

Leave a Reply