This is a picture from the day before his funeral when I took the girls to the mortuary. I had a hard time deciding if I would let the girls see their daddy but I just knew that’s what Denny wanted for them so I did. This may sound morbid, but the Mortuary did an amazing job and Winnie said “Daddy looks so handsome!” When we first went in though, I said, “Who is that?” Winnie said, “I don’t know.” “Yes you do, who is that?” “I don’t know!” Part of that could be because he had a massive beard when he died that I asked them to trim to his normal beard length(#sorrynotsorrydenny). But I don’t think that’s the real reason because she can look at pictures of him with any beard length and recognize him. I think Winnie knew her daddy wasn’t in there. I think she didn’t recognize his body without the amazing fun silly daddy spirit inside of it. Then we talked about how his body is here but his spirit is now in Heaven. We talked about how his body is going in a special box and we’re going to put it in a pretty park to keep it safe. She kept saying over and over how handsome he was, then sang “You are my Sunshine,” to him. She gave him a kiss too. It was haunting and so weird but also so sweet. The whole viewing she would point to the casket and say, “That’s my daddy! He’s so handsome!” He really looked just like he did on our wedding day except a receding hairline haha. You know what a mother of young children shouldn’t have to do? This. I shouldn’t have to explain it and show them his body and take them to his grave. You know what else I shouldn’t have to do at 29? Pick out a stone for the grave. My name will be on a headstone next to my husbands before my 30th birthday. It’s reality for me. But it’s not okay. If someone dies of any other illness at such a young age, usually everything possible is done. We don’t do enough yet to prevent suicide. If someone is determined to take their own life, there is truly only so much you can do unless they are willing to get help. However, we can do so much more to make people less embarrassed and ashamed so that they are willing to get help. Don’t let this happen to any other family. P.s. Legit mortuary recommendation.. Warenski.

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